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I.
Brownredblondblack heads.
Hair behind hair beyond
reach.
A need to outstretch fingers
and be touched back.

Brushing against bodies,
breath held hoping
something touches the
bitsofskin beyond cuffs.

II.
Unoccupied metal dulled
by previous sittings.
No excuse
to move along it with a simple
slidesmile and nod.
No crowd or need to squeeze
together.

Ride the metro till five.

III.
Tremors like sweat slip through buttoned
collar and black slacks
as stilettolacesloafers leak into a view
of well treaded noslip rubber.
Ease the motions of chest and shoulders.

Dive at them as if starving.

Wet healthy eyes all too wide,
poor comfort for those
shoes considering the gap of metal.
Black middles filled with uncasual.

Eyes that seem to cut,
only they can do the touching.
©2007-2009 =Chillinvillain
:iconchillinvillain:

Author's Comments

At Arm's Length II
At Arm's Length III
Updated sep 18 2007, totally redone basically
Updated Jan 13 2008, minor edit in part 2


EDIT: Nov 25, 2007 (when i actually got back from vacation) thanks for the DD and reading!

Daily Deviation

Given 2007-11-20

At Arm's Length: I by =Chillinvillain is so hauntingly beautiful in it's images that it makes me swoon and shiver at once (Featured by ^StJoan)

Critiques


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:iconbrandidear:
I love the line "shoes leak into my view"
Great word.

Not sure about reciprocated.

Overall I like it.
:hug:

--
New user name is HayleeLynn
:iconchillinvillain:
:hug:

--
:relaxed:
-CV
Fortune Favors the Bold
:iconzephyrchaser:
I will have thoughts on this--they're just not properly forming at the moment. This will stay in my watch until sometime when it's not 3:30 am.
:iconblown-into-oblivian:
I have DREAMS where i couldwrite stuff as cool as that!

--
**Well, I hope you're pleased, I'm naked!-Hampster ina Microwave**

Click if you're smart [link]
:iconchillinvillain:
ty much :D

--
:relaxed:
-CV
Fortune Favors the Bold
:iconblown-into-oblivian:
yup :)

--
**Well, I hope you're pleased, I'm naked!-Hampster ina Microwave**

Click if you're smart [link]
:iconchillinvillain:
weren't you gonna give me some thoughts ;)

as if i could impose on such a loyal and honest commentor D:

but if ya have any time :D

--
:relaxed:
-CV
Fortune Favors the Bold
:iconzephyrchaser:
I was going to give you some thoughts, yes! :D

When you wrote this I think you caught a lot of my thoughts at the moment. That heart-in-your-throat feeling of an utter need for human contact--surrounded by people but physically very alone.

It put me in mind of the movie "Crash" (one of my favorites):
"It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. In L.A., nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."

You did a great job catching that feeling... love the smashed-together words.
:iconchillinvillain:
man damn, i totally forgot about that line in crash. that's such a fuckin perfect description!

ty for the comments and fav brasky

--
:relaxed:
-CV
Fortune Favors the Bold
:iconformel:
I like this poem, nicely written
I love the invented, crowded words
Do you know Ezra Pound's A Station On the Metro? (I am not 100% sure about the title) it describes a similar feeling.

--
Alucard: I had one man tell me he was a writer.
Integra: And what did you do?
A: I killed him quickly.
I: I'm sure the art community thanked you.
A: I like to consider myself a scathing critic. Non of my subjects survive my reviews.

:D

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September 9, 2007
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